I found an article today, which discusses a link between certain types of families and behavioral problems in school: Behavior Problems in School Linked to Two Types of Families.

“Families can be a support and resource for children as they enter school, or they can be a source of stress, distraction, and maladaptive behavior,” says Melissa Sturge-Apple, the lead researcher on the paper and an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Rochester.

“This study shows that cold and controlling family environments are linked to a growing cascade of difficulties for children in their first three years of school, from aggressive and disruptive behavior to depression and alienation,” Sturge-Apple explains. “The study also finds that children from families marked by high levels of conflict and intrusive parenting increasingly struggle with anxiety and social withdrawal as they navigate their early school years.”

The three-year study, published July 15 in Child Development, examines relationship patterns in 234 families with six-year-old children.

But for a wider and in-depth perspective on this problem, one must read The Narcissistic Family by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman. The authors describe a “parent system” which is primarily involved in getting its own needs met, therefore taking precedence over the “child system.” Children born into these families try to earn love, attention and approval by satisfying their parents’ needs. Never getting their own feelings validated, these children will then have problems which will further contribute to the narcissistic family system.

The symptoms of this narcissistic wounding are often a chronic need to please; an inability to identify feelings, wants, and needs; and a need for constant validation. From the book: Read more…